Renting Out Oz
by scissorknot
Summary: AU. Beecher & Keller. Synopsis: Rent has been moved to present date. Beecher is fresh out of Grad school and starting to come in to his own when he meets Christopher Keller. Started out as two characters trapped in a musical that they are both unaware of.
1. Chapter 1

_We're not gonna pay_

_Last year's rent  
This year's rent  
Next year's rent  
Rent rent rent rent rent  
We're not gonna pay rent_

_'Cause everything is rent_

"God damn it." Keller said to himself, "It is five in the fucking morning and they are singing again." Chris had only been living in the loft for a week and he was already regretting it. "Now I see why this damn apartment was so cheap. Fucking neighbors will not shut the hell up." Keller said while throwing a book at the roof. "Get a fucking job slackers." Keller rummaged around for the remote to the stereo so he could drown out the noise coming through his ceiling. After a short search the AWOL remote was found located under a three-day-old pizza box. Chris pushed on the power button not caring what was in the CD player; only wanting to block out the noise pollution coming from above. With in second trash metal blaring from Keller's stereo drowned out the neighbors.

_Suicide on the horizon  
I count these miseries to ten  
Contempt is a lifestyle  
Contempt is a lifestyle_

"Why the fuck did I have to get stuck in the building with the fucking singing hippies. They need to get a fucking job and pay there damn rent so I can get some sleep." Keller said to himself while getting up.

_The demons strike twice  
Demons, these demons strike twice  
Contempt is a lifestyle  
Contempt is a lifestyle_

Keller let the stereo blaze while he began his daily routine. Starting with a shower.

_Suicide on the horizon  
I count these miseries to ten_

_These past of the tint of light turns to twilight  
'Cause I won't understand  
Better day  
'Cause I won't understand_

When Keller got out of the shower and stated to get dressed. The noise was faint but he could still hear his neighbors sing. "It is like they are in a musical or something." Keller finished getting dressed and walked over to the get something to eat.

_These past of the tint of light turns to twilight  
'Cause I won't understand  
Better day  
'Cause I won't understand_

After a few minutes of looking Chris realized that unless he want a bowl of mustard that he could wash down with a glass of milk that expired yesterday he was going to have to go out to eat. "Ah fuck! I don't want to go out this early."

_'Cause I won't  
Bow down won't let this eat me alive  
Crawl out of my hole  
Exorcise the demons  
Better Days  
These past of the tint of light turns to twilight  
Cause I won't understand  
Better Days  
Cause I won't understand_

After the song had ended Keller turned off his stereo and to his dismay he could still hear singing coming from above him. "Fuck it I'm out." Keller shouted while grabbing his keys and helmet. He leapt down the stairs two at a time trying to get away from the singing. Once out side Keller took a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief. "Finally some peace and fucking quiet." Keller got on his bike and sped away looking for an open all night diner.

After about a thirty-minute ride Keller happened upon Sally's Diner, but by the sign it was Sal's Diner. "I guess this will do." Keller said while taking of his helmet. Not long after he entered the building he Keller was second-guessing his decision. With a quick look around the diner noticed that he was the only person who was sober and/or had all of his teeth. "What's with the sign? Did Sally have a sex change?" Keller joked.

After what felt like half an hour the waitress remarked. "The L and the Y are out on the sign."

"Thanks for clearing that up for me." Chris retorted while sitting down. After studying the menu for a few minutes Keller decided on having a cheese omelet. While was watching the over weight cook in the stained apron cooking his omelet he heard the bell over the door ring. Chris paid no attention to the new patron but chose to focus on the omelet that was placed in front of him. After ingesting a few bites Keller started to hear a women voice coming from his left. Which struck him as odd because the only female in the room was Alice the waitress and she was behind the counter. What was perplexing is that Chris recognized the voice. "What the fuck?" Keller said while turning around. It took a few second but Chris found the source. It was the Blonde that sitting in the corner wearing the headphones. Keller thought about it for a minute and decided to approach the guy. "A guy whole listens to Bif Naked this early in the morning cannot be all bad." As he got close to his desired target Chris could make out the lyrics to the song and began to sing along in his head.

Shaking in my boots, you shook me down.  
You really took me down.  
Shaking my foundation, not to be found.  
Never to be found.

Keller waited until the man looked up before he spoke. "Nice song."


	2. Chapter 2

"Stop trying run my life for me." Tobias Beecher yelled at his father. "When are you going to get it I don't want your life?"

"I am not trying to run your life Tobias I am just trying to help you." Harrison Beecher countered.

"I don't want you fucking help. This is my life and I am tired of you trying to live it for me."

"Language," Victoria Beecher yelled from the kitchen.

"Sorry mom. When are you going to face the facts that I am not going to work for you? I became a lawyer to help people not to take over companies."

"For god sakes you a Beecher. Why the hell do you want to throw that away to work with bums and crack whores?"

"Because unlike you I still have a heart. I haven't forgotten that, unlike you, that we are all people and that we all need competent legal representation no matter if they can afford it."

"That is what court appointed attorneys are for."

"You know just as well as I do that they aren't worth shit."

"Language," once again could be heard coming from the kitchen.

"Sorry. Again" Tobias replied.

"Tobias you could do much better with your life, with you education. You are selling yourself short by working with common thugs."

" I just told you a minute ago. I have always had this problem with you. You never listen to me."

"That's not true. I have never ignored you."

"Really? Then why did I go to Harvard?"

"Because it has been your dream since middle school."

"No dad that was your dream. I didn't want to go to Harvard. But you wouldn't hear that. I believe your exact words were, 'You're a Beecher Tobias and all Beechers go to Harvard.' I went there to make you happy. I study law and became a lawyer to make you happy. I am tired of making you happy I am doing what the fuck I want to with my life."

"If I hear one more swear come out of your mouth Toby I will get the soap. Just because you live on your own doesn't mean that I will not wash your mouth out. I am still your mother." Victoria said sticking her head out of the kitchen.

"Alright mom. I think I am going to skip diner tonight I have lost me appetite." Beecher said while opening the door. "See you later."

"Damn it Harrison. I told you to not bring up anything about Toby's work tonight. How many times do I have to tell you that he is no longer a little boy? He has made up his mind and there is nothing you can do to change it. Now get you ass in here dinner is served." Victoria said in the kitchen door way.

After a short walk Beecher reached his building. Toby was hoping that he would have cooled of some by the time he reached his apartment but he was still pissed of with his father. "God damn it." Beecher said to his self when he got to his door. "I need a fucking drink. And I need it now." Beecher said turning around and headed back to the street. He knew of a bar a few block away that made a decent martini.

Beecher sat nursing his second martini. Normally a drink would make things all right but not tonight. Beecher left a twenty under his glass and headed back for his apartment. One his trip back to knocked over by some chick in black leather and lace singing.

_In the evening I've got to roam  
Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome  
Feels too damn much like home  
When the Spanish babies cry  
So let's find a bar  
So dark we forget who we are  
And all the scars from the  
Nevers and maybes die_

"Hey watch where you're fucking walking." Beecher yelled but to no avail. The girl just kept on walking and singing. "Fucking weird ass kids." The short trip back home was almost over all Beecher needed now was to get his walkman so that he could drown out the world like he did every night on his after bar walks. Not long after Toby hit the play button he was taken away by the sorrowful vocals in his ears.

_Well you packed me away in the trunk of your car.  
You drove me so fast and so far.  
I tried to fight but it's so hard.  
The only memento is this scar._

The private serenade was all that he needed to for get his worries as he began to mouth the words to the song.

_Where were you when I needed you?  
Something's missing, and I can't breathe.  
Where were you? Where were you?  
Something's missing.  
You abandoned me._

His stomach growling interrupted Tobias' lip singing. "Shit I am fucking starved. I guess I forgot about diner after the fight." He looked around and noticed a diner two blocks down across the street that had people in it. "Looks like I will be eating here tonight."

_Oh when you look deep into my mind.  
That is so tired and weak from this life.  
On the verge of fear all the time.  
I feel like you left me here to die._

Tobias turned up the volume as he walked in to the diner not wanting to have to deal with any of the other customers. He soon found a seat back in the corner and began to look over the menu for something that looked like it wouldn't make him sick after wards.

_Shaking in my boots, you shook me down.  
You really took me down.  
Shaking my foundation, not to be found.  
Never to be found._

While Beecher was perusing the menu he soon had the strangest feeling that someone was watching. Tobias put down his menu and looked up. Standing in front of him was this behemoth of a man and he was mouthing something. "What?" Toby said while turning down the song.


	3. Chapter 3

"I said nice song."

Um… thanks I guess"

I didn't expect to find a Bif Naked fan in here," Keller said while looking around.

"I never expected to be eating on pre-op diner." Beecher replied sarcastically.

"You know I asked the 'lovely' waitress about the sign when I came in."

"Yeah what was her response?"

"Lets put it this was. If looks could kill I wouldn't be talking to you right now. Make one little joke about a sex change and apparently you crossed the line."

"Not trying to be rude or anything but it is 5:30 in the morning, and have you looked around you? This doesn't look like the stand up type of crowd."

"Yeah I guess you're right. But hell this place could use a bit of cheering up. So what brings you out so late of should I say early?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"Well lets see. It is early for me, but not really I mean I usually get up around this time. There are these fucking annoying people who live in my building; they woke me up a little after five this morning. I was hungry and when I looked in to my refrigerator I noticed I had nothing to eat. And that is how I got here. What about you?"

"Fine I will tell you but if we are going to talk you need to shit down. You are making me nervous hovering like that."

"Ok I will be right back. I want to get my food." Keller went back to get his place. While he was away the waitress came and took Beecher's order. "Well since we are dining together now I should introduce myself. I'm Christopher Keller you can call be Chris if you want."

"Hello Chris I'm Tobias Beecher but most people call me Toby."

"Beecher… Beecher… why does that name sound so familiar?'

"Probably because of my dad Harrison Beecher."

"Harrison Beecher is your father? Really?"

"Yeah why do you ask?"

"It is just that you don't look like you're loaded."

"Well I am not loaded my dad is. But what was that comment supposed?"

"I didn't mean it as an insult. Just that you are wearing a black hoodie, cameo cargo pants." Chris looks under the table. "And a pair of classic black Converses. For some reason that does not scream aristocrat to me."

"Then it worked?"

"Why would you say that? I mean life would be so much easier for you if you embraced that life style."

"See but I don't want to make it because my dad. I want to be a success because of my hard work, because I earned, not because it was given to me. Plus I don't want to follow in my father's foot steps"

"So I take it your not a lawyer."

"No I am I just don't do business like my dad. I work with the under privileged. I didn't really assert my independence from my father until recently in fact that is kind of why I'm here."

"Yeah you never told me what you were doing inside of a tranny this early in the morning." Both men chuckled after Keller's joke.

"Well that is an interesting way of put it. Well I was supposed to have dinner with my parents."

"Wait sorry to interrupt but you went to you parents in that. I bet they nearly shit themselves when they saw you."

"My mom didn't care she was just happy to see me. My dad on the other hand was a different story. He has never been able to accept that I am my own person. I think he still see me as his little boy that did everything he was told. I love him but he needs to get his head out of his ass. So basically he kept nagging about my clothes and that escalated until an arguing match and me leaving. After that I went out for a drink. I spent a few hours at the bar hoping that I would calm down. I was still a bit pissed off so I decided to go for a walk. I went back to my house to get some music to listen to on the walk and I was nearly taken out by some chick. She was singing and not paying attention to anything around here. I was like she was in a fucking musical. And I thought I was weird."

"Hum… late at night and singing. Was she a cute little Latina barely wearing anything at all?"

"Yeah how did you know?"

"Yeah how did you know that?"

"Here name is Mimi. She lives in my building. Her and her damn friends are the annoying people in my building. It is funny that you say she is trapped in a musical because her and her damn friends are always fucking sing. In fact that is how they woke me up this morning. Singing about how they are not going to pay their rent or some shit, I don't remember."

"What do you mean you don't remember it had to have happened a few hours ago?"

"I turned on my stereo as soon as I heard them singing. So I don't remember what they were bitching about this time."

"I gotcha sounds like this happens a lot."

"Yeah I have been living in the building for less then a week and they have done it every damn day."

"Then why the hell are you still there? Why don't you move?"

"There are two reason for that. The first one is that it is close to work and the second is that it is all that I can afford right now. Speaking of work I need to go I have a few things I need to take care of before I go in. It has been nice talking to you. Hope to see you around Toooby" Chris said with a smile on his face.

"Yeah see you around Chris." Toby watched as Chris paid and left. "That was kind of odd." Toby put his headphones on and hit the play button.

_Where were you? Where were you?  
You abandoned me.  
You abandoned me.  
You abandoned me._


	4. Chapter 4

Chris paid for his meal and thought about making another joke to the waitress but decided it would be a waste of time so he just left. Chris was feeling much better after his conversation with Toby. It had been a while since Chris had talked to anyone and laughed. In fact he hadn't laughed since he had arrived in New York. In between working the bar at the Cat Scratch club and trying to get some rest in-between song Chris had been too busy to make time for fun. Chris had noticed how it had been affecting him. He had begun to get short with strangest and was having mood swings which was out of the ordinary for him. Normally he was always in control of his emotions; in fact he couldn't stand the times when he wasn't in control. And this just added to the stress he was already under. _It was nice to relax for once. Toby seems to be a pretty down to earth guy, glad that I meet him. Shit how the hell am I going to be able to find him again there are a lot of fucking people in here?_ Keller was a little depressed at the realization that he might not get to see Toby again. _Wait a second why the hell am I getting so worked up over that I talked to the guy for a few hours. It is not like we are best friends forever now._ Chris spent the rest of the ride trying to avoid thinking about the early breakfast with Toby with very little success.

Chris when finally arrived home a wave of weariness wash over him. "Damn I am tired. I guess getting woken up with only three hours of sleep can do that to some one. Fucking pricks. Hopefully they have fucking left because I cannot deal with this shit right now." When Chris got to his floor his prayers were answered when he actually heard silence coming from the floor above him. Chris started to thumb through his CD collection trying to find an album that would help him fall asleep. He looked for a few minutes and finally he found one that he felt like listening to "Ah this one will work." Keller put the CD in, hit play, and out it on random. While Keller was getting undressed a piano began to play, which was quickly replaced by harsh guitars and a depressingly beautiful voice.

_You don't remember me, but I remember you  
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you  
But who can decide what they dream?  
And dream I do..._

A smile slowly began to spreads across his face. "What are the odds," Keller said when he recognized the song. Chris crawled in to bed and slowly closed his eyes.

_I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
You're taking over me_

The last line kept repeating itself in his head a sleep slowly started to take over his body and he was taken to a dream world. Keller was sitting by himself somewhere outside. It looked familiar but he could not place it. After looking around for a while Keller began to notice that music was being played. He looked around trying to locate the source but to no avail.

_Have you forgotten all I know  
And all we had?  
You saw me mourning my love for you  
And touched my hand  
I knew you loved me then_

When Keller turned back around he noticed this man walking past him. It took him a second to realize that it was Beecher. "Hey Beecher what are you doing here?" Keller shouted, but the blonde paid him no attention.

_I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
You're taking over me_

"Hey Beecher I know we just meet but damn you don't have to be rude. I thought we had a good time together earlier this morning." Keller said while putting his hand on Toby's shoulder but it just passed right through it. "What the fuck!"

_I look in the mirror and see your face  
If I look deep enough...  
So many things inside that are just like you are taking over_

"What the hell is going on," Keller yelped. Toby began to slowly turn around and mouth something, but Keller could not make it out the music covered it up.

_I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
You're taking over me_

"What," Keller cried as he shot up in bed. Keller slowly began to regain his senses and realize where he was. "Shit that was a fucked up dream." After saying that Keller realized the source of the music in his dream. It just so happened to be the same song that was playing on his stereo.

_I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
You're taking over me_

When the song finished Keller cut of the power the to the radio and began to get out of bed for the second time today. "That is the last time I listen o that CD with less then 3 hours of sleep." Keller debated with himself on whether he was going to take a shower again. It had only been a few hours since his last one but he was covered in sweat from his dream. "I better take a shower. I never know what might happen so I don't want to reek incase something important goes down."

After his shower Keller looked at the clock and noticed it was on 12:30 P.M. "I don't have to be at work until3:00 so I guess can clean up a bit." He said while looking around the loft. He had only been there for five days but it was beginning to look like a landfill. Chris was still a liked freak out about the dream so he opted to keep the radio off. And hour and half later the apartment and Keller was bored. "What the hell can I do for the next fifty minutes?" As soon as he had spoken those words he began to hear singing coming from the apartment above. Chris noticed that it was not the two guy this time but a male and a female. He could tell the voice of the female was Mimi and he was pretty sure that the guy was Roger.

_I know you? -- You're --  
You're shivering _

It's nothing  
They turned off my heat  
And I'm just a little  
Weak on my feet  
Would you light my candle?  
What are you staring at?

_Nothing  
Your hair in the moonlight_

"Fuck this shit," Keller, said heading towards the door. "I can put some extra time in at the club." And with that he locked his door and head to work.

After a few hours of managing the bar at the Cat Scratch Club Keller noticed Mimi. "Hey you seem to be in a good mood."

"I am can you tell?"

"Yeah you have an extra bounce in your step plus I over heard you and that Roger guy a while ago."

"You shouldn't ease drop on other people conversation Chris. That isn't very nice to do."

"Ease dropping my ass. You two were signing at the top of your lungs."

"Ok whatever you say Chris." Mimi said rolling her eyes. "Why do you care? A little Jealous that I am going after Roger and not you?" She said giving Keller a flirtatious wink as she walked away.

Mimi was a very attractive girl and Keller loved to flirt with her but he could never see him in a relationship with her. She was just way to small. He would break her if he held her the wrong way. Keller went back to serving the guys at the bar. Few hours later Keller looked up and was shocked but what he saw. "No fucking way" he said very loudly.


	5. Chapter 5

Toby ate the rest of his meal in silence. A sense of awkwardness had fallen over Toby as he watched Chris left the restaurant. He hadn't noticed how out of place he had been while Chris was talking to him. _What the hell was I thinking coming in here? This really is not my kind of diner._Beecher thought while looking over the crowd. He quickly finished what was left on his plate and left a twenty on the table. AS he rose up from the table he pulled up his hoodie as if to block out the crowd and made his way towards the door. Once he was on the outside he let out the breath that he was unaware that he had been holding in. "I'm glad to be out of there," Beecher said to no on as he began his long walk back to his apartment.

After about twenty minutes of walking Beecher began to notice that he had been walking for what seem liked forever and was not home yet. _What the hell is taking so long?_ Beecher stopped to think and about a minute later it hit him. Actually it was more of the cord hit him. Toby had gone to scratch his head and got smacked in the face by the cord of his headphones. "Oww son of a bitch that hurt," cried while rubbing his check. "Oh yeah I was listening to music on the walk there. I only have a few more block before my building but that is enough time for at least one song." With that said he pushed the play button and waited as the next song began. Toby was taken off guard by the song that began to play. He recognized the beat but it was being played on a piano and it was happier than the original version.

_Whenever I'm alone with you,  
You make me feel like I am home again.  
Whenever I'm alone with you,  
You make me feel like I am whole again_

With the first few lines Beecher finally recognized the song and the artist. "I had forgotten I had this one here." He said with a smile. Beecher had always had a soft spot for Tori Amos. Ever since he had heard _Happy Phantom _back in 91 he had fallen in love with her. He was infatuated with her ability to conceal such depressing lyrics behind up-tempo songs.

_Whenever I'm alone with you,  
You make me feel like I am young again.  
Whenever I'm alone with you,  
You make me feel like I am fun again._

Listening to the seductive voice in his ears got Beecher thinking about the lyrics and about the stranger he had ran in to at the diner. Now that he was thinking about it the lyrics reminded him of how Chris made him feel. For a brief moment he had been truly happy. For once he felt that accepted for who he really was. Not for who his father was and that was a great feeling. _I do not by any means love the guy but it was nice to be able to put my guard down for a brief time._

_However far away,  
I will always love you.  
However long I stay,  
I will always love you.  
Whatever words I say,  
I will always love you;  
I will always love you. _

_I think love is a little strong of a word to use right now but I do want to spend more time with him. _With that final thought it hit Beecher like a ton of bricks. All he knew about the guy was that his name was Christopher Keller. He didn't even know if the guy was listed in the phone book and if he was there had to be more than one Christopher Keller in all of New York. "Fuck," he exclaimed, "why the hell did I have to be such a dumb ass?"

_Whenever I'm alone with you,  
You make me feel like I am free again.  
Whenever I'm alone with you,  
You make me feel like I am clean again._

Beecher finished the rest of the walk home in complete silence angry with himself for being so damn careless. When he made it to his street he noticed a piece of paper. "Ah this if fucking bullshit," Beecher yelled while picking up the paper. "I was not fucking par..." His mind finally caught up with his mouth and he realized that it was a ticket but a flyer for a bar. "Half price drinks after six. Fuck yeah I am there." Beecher folded up the flyer as he made hi way in to the building.

_However far away,  
I will always love you.  
However long I stay,  
I will always love you.  
Whatever words I say,  
I will always love you;  
I will always love you._

When Toby made it up to his room he threw himself on the bed. He was too tired to do anything else. After what felt like a minute he finally feel to sleep. Beecher slept for a long time, In fact it had been a while since he had slept so peacefully. It was four in the afternoon before Toby finally. He slowly rose out of bed wiping the little bit of drool off of the corner of his month. "It is times like this that I am glad that I live alone," he said while heading towards the shower. After a quick shower Toby got out of the shower and got dressed making sure to put on his trademark black hoodie. He deicide to fix himself a bowl of cereal. He wasn't that hungry but he knew better then to go out drinking on a dry stomach.

Toby just sat around his apartment for the next hour and a half with the TV on but not watching it. He was just hoping that it would help pass the time. Finally after what seemed like an eternity his watch showed five thirty. He grabbed his keys and headed towards the door. After a fourth minute drive Toby pulled up in front of the Cat Scratch Club. "Well this is the place," Toby said parking the car. Looking around he felt comfortable with the people he saw. There was no sense of foreboding like there had been at the diner earlier this morning. Not long after he walked in the bar he thought he heard some one familiar yelling. "What the hell would anyone I know be doing here," Beecher asked himself.


	6. Chapter 6

"Toby, what the hell are you doing here?" Chris asked with a perplexed look on his face. Chris had only been at the Cat Scratch Club for four days but he could tell it was a place that Beecher would never venture.

"I found this on my car," Toby replied, pulling out the flyer and handing it to Chris. "I figured half price is worth the drive. So, what is the deal with the after-six special?"

"That is when the show begins. The bar is dead from then until the place closes."

"Show? What show?"

"The cabaret show."

Beecher looked around and asked quizzically, "This is a cabaret bar?"

"That is what they like to call it, but if you ask me, it is just one step above a strip club. So, will you be watching the show or having a drink? Either way, you have about 20 minutes until either one starts."

"I came here to drink, so I doubt I will be watching much of the show."

"That's too bad. Remember that girl you were talking about at breakfast/dinner earlier today, Mimi? She is the star of the show."

"Oh really? At least she puts some of that excess energy to good use, I guess," Beecher said while recalling almost being run over by the crazy broad.

"So what's your poison?"

"How is your martini?"

"I have no idea; I have never had to make one before. If you look around you can see this is not really a martini kind of crowd." Keller couldn't help but laugh at the exchange. It was just like the one in the diner, just with the roles reversed.

Toby gave Chris a sour look before he spoke up. "I'll have a vodka martini, smart ass."

"What vodka do you want?"

"You got Smirnoff 100?"

"We sure do."

"Then that is what I will have."

Keller began to mix Beecher's martini. While he was doing that, Toby decided to peruse the club and try to get a feel of the crowd. He noticed that the majority of the crowd had begun to take their seats around the stage. _Damn, Keller was right about that. There is still fifteen minutes before the show starts and the place is packed. I couldn't get a seat if I wanted. Glad I came for the drinks and not the show._

"Here you are."

The voice coming from behind him startled Toby back to reality. He turned back around and took a sip of the drink sitting in front of him. "Thanks"

"How is it?"

"It is all right, I guess. I mean I have had better but I really wasn't expecting the best in a place named after a pet wound."

"I can live with all right considering it will probably never be ordered again. So Mr. Beecher, why don't you tell me about yourself?"

"Well, first off, I am not Mr. Beecher. I am Tobias, but you already know that. What would you like to know?"

"Well, how about what is the deal you have with your father? I get the feeling that there is some bad blood between the two of you."

"It isn't bad blood, just me wanting to assert my own identity. Do you have any idea what it is like to live in the shadows of your father?"

"Um, no, because I never had one. He ran off when he found out my mother was pregnant, or at least that is what I've heard."

"What you've heard? Didn't your mom tell you that?"

"No, my mother died when I was three. That is what I was told when I was being bounced between foster homes until I was eighteen." Sadness began to set in on Keller's face as he relived the pain of his childhood, constantly being moved from home to home to home, the never-ending feeling of abandonment that crept up on him every time he saw a happy family. "Want another?"

Beecher took a second to answer. He had been watching the sadness grow on Chris' face as he talked about growing up. "Yeah sure," he said, not looking up from the bar, trying to avoid Chris' eyes. Toby was mystified with how revealing his eyes were. It was like looking into Keller's soul. His voice had not shown any emotion, neither did his body language, but his eyes were like an open book telling what was really going on inside that mind of his. "Thanks," Toby said, finally looking up after Chris had placed the drink in front of him. Toby took a long sip of it before he spoke again. He enjoyed the feeling of the cool liquid sliding down the back of this throat. "Sorry about bring up bad memories," he said faintly. Toby's apology fell on deaf ears as music started to blare and the audience went crazy.

"What?" Chris shouted. "You are going to have to speak up. The show started and when that happens the crowd gets a little loud."

"I said I was sorry for bring up bad memories."

"Don't worry yourself over that. It wasn't that big of a deal. Besides, weren't you saying about finding your own identity before I took over the conversation?"

"Yeah, I was. Basically my entire life had been mapped out for me before I was born by my dad. He thinks because his dad did it for him that he could do it for me. Being born a Beecher meant I was supposed to follow in my father's footsteps whether I wanted to or not. It is annoying enough having to deal with the fact that I am a Beecher. Everyone assumes that I have gotten everywhere riding on the coattails of my father, which isn't true. Everyone assumes that I made it through Harvard with Dad's bank account. Few people know that he didn't pay for a fucking thing while I was there. My hard work got me there and paid for it." Beecher drained the last of the alcohol that was in his cup and let out a sigh.

Chris took the opportunity to fill up the glass and try to lighten the mood. "You know what they say about people who assume? It makes an ass out of you and me."

Toby let out a chuckle that was a little slurred. He was starting to feel the effects of three martinis in less than an hour time span. "Anyways I get tired of having to deal with people assuming that I am this spoiled rich kid who has never earned anything in his life. I am tired of walking in to a room full of people and being greeted as Harrison Beecher's son. When I was in college I even thought about changing my last name so that would stop happening."

Several hours and martinislater, the club was closing and Beecher was completely trashed. He nearly fell off of his bar stool trying to get his wallet out of his pocket. After a short struggle with his back pocket, Beecher finally pulled out his wallet. "There you are, you li'l bugger. How much do I owe you?"

Keller had lost count of the number of drinks he made Beecher. He had been too busy watching over Beecher to make sure no one fucked with him. The more Toby talked and drank, the more Keller felt he had to protect him, not only from the people in the club he knew would fuck with Toby but from himself. He had watched with ever increasing sadness as Toby tried to 'drink his emotions until they disappeared like his martini. He wanted to hug him and smack him at the same time. Chris thought about cutting off Beecher after his fifth martini, but decided against. Chris did not want Beecher to think that he was implying he was a lush. From the way Toby talked, it seemed that he had a lot of pent-up emotions that he did not get a chance to vent regularly. He reminded Chris of a coke bottle. All the agitation he dealt with daily just built up and he needed to release some of the pressure before his head exploded. Who was he to tell Toby that getting wasted wasn't a good solution? Hell, he could still remember numerous drinking binges that he had gone on in order to forget things he would rather not deal with. "It'll be thirty."

"Here you go," Beecher said putting some cash on the table. After he paid, Toby got to his feet and began to wobble towards the door, leaving his wallet at the bar.

Chris opened the wallet, looking for Tobias' driver's license in order to get his address. After a short search, he found it and pulled it out. He gave a silent laugh at the picture. _Glad he got rid of those glasses. They made him look like a total nerd._ "Wait up, Toby. There is no way in hell you are driving home."

Upon hearing his name, Tobias turned, almost falling in the process. Stretching out his arms, Toby tried to prevent himself from plummeting to the ground. His effort was futile and he struck the ground, getting a few laughs form the remaining patrons. Chris quickly made his way around the bar and helped Toby back to his feet, giving the laughers an eat- shit-and-die look that shut them up. "I can drive. I'm fine."

"No, you're not. You're likely to kill some one in this condition. Plus you might want this." Chris held up Tobias' wallet. "I figure you have three options. Option number one: you can sleep in the gutter tonight. I don't like that option very much. Option two: you can take a cab home. That option is a little better but this is not the best place in town. And last but not least, there is option number three: you let me drive you home. Of course, that means I will be spending a night at your place. There is no way I am walking back to my place this time of night. So pick which ever one you want," Keller said as he began to walk Toby towards the door.

The majority if what Chris had said fell on deaf ears. Toby was busy enjoying the feel of someone supporting him for a change. It was nice for once not having to be strong, knowing that there was someone there for him to lean on. Even though he had only known Chris for less then a day he felt extremely comfortable around him. "Um… the last one," Toby finally answered, not sure of what it was.

"All right," Chris said as he pushed open the door. "Where did you park your car?"

Toby pointed to his right, "Um... over there," then to his left, "or maybe it was over there."

"Shit, this might take a while. Do you have a car alarm?"

"Umm… I don't know," was the slurred response.

"Fuck. Give me your keys," Keller sighed holding out his hand. When he got no response he looked back to see why. "Come on Beech..." Keller was too grossed out by what he had seen to continue. Beecher had fallen over and was playing with the Cheerio's in his pile of puke. "Aww, Toby stop that. That is fucking disgusting," he said, pulling Beecher up and placing Toby's arm around his neck. He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped off what appeared to be a few Cheerio's on his cheek. After walking around for a few minutes pushing the alarm button, Chris he finally found the car. Chris decided to wait in the car for a few minutes in case Toby had another moment like he had in front of the bar.

After a half an hour and six more upchucks, Chris felt it was safe to get Toby in the car. Lucky for Chris, he found it extremely easy to pick up Toby and place him in the passenger seat. Toby, on the other hand, was not as lucky. After he was placed in the car he started to lean to the right and before Chris could notice he smacked him in the head with the door. "Oh shit, Toby, I'm so sorry."

"What?" was the only response Chris got after about ten seconds.

"Never mind. Watch your head I'm closing the door." Chris scoffed at how drunken Toby was.

"Oh ok," was the slurred response that came from the passenger seat.

Chris quickly closed the door in order to prevent another head/door collision. Chris walked around the car and got in the driver seat. He took a few seconds to get comfortable in the seat. Normally he would not screw with the seat adjustment in someone else's car but he figured the drunk Beecher wouldn't mind. He turned on the car and got ready to pull out of the parking lot. Before he did, Chris began to mess around with the car stereo. "What the hell? A stereo doesn't need this many damn buttons," he said to no one. As he looked over to the passenger seat he noticed that Beecher was no longer awake. After a few misses Chris finally found that button for the CD player. "I hope he has something good in here." An unknown male voice started in a very cheery manner that was quickly followed by a buoyant piano and soon the rest of the band was playing along as well.

_It's not easy having yourself a good time  
Greasing up those bets and betters  
Watching out they don't four-letter  
Fuck and kiss you both at the same time  
Smells-like something I've forgotten  
Curled up died and now it's rotten_

"What the hell is this crap," Chris barked out loud as he was reaching to turn off the offensive song.

"Touch that button and I'll break your fingers." The sudden voice startled Chris. He was unaware that Toby has woken up. "I like that song."

_I'm not a gangster tonight  
Don't want to be a bad guy  
I'm just a loner baby  
And now you're gotten in my way_

"I guess I can deal with it for now."

"Good because we are listening to it. I may be drunk but I still know this is my car."

_I can't decide_

_Whether you should live or die  
Oh, you'll probably go to heaven  
Please don't hang your head and cry  
No wonder why  
My heart feels dead inside  
It's cold and hard and petrified  
Lock the doors and close the blinds  
We're going for a ride_

Beecher closed his eyes as soon as he saw Chris' hands move away from the stereo and back to the steering wheel. When Chris looked over at Beecher he couldn't help but think that Beecher looked like a little drunken angel. _It is kind of weird of how big of a contradiction you are, Beecher. When everyone looks at you, they must think you are this innocent angel, but they fail to notice that your halo is held on by devil horns.  
_  
_It's a bitch convincing people to like you_

_If I stop now call me a quitter  
If lies were cats you'd be a litter  
Pleasing everyone isn't like you  
Dancing jigs until I'm crippled  
Slug ten drinks I won't get pickled_

"God, Beecher, you have fucked up taste in music," Chris said to Toby, unaware that he was talking to himself again. "Fuck, how the hell can he do that? I wonder if I can change the CD now. Nah, I better not try it. Knowing my luck Toby would wake up while I'm in the middle of changing it and break my finger."

_I've got to hand it to you  
you've played by all the same rules  
It takes the truth to fool me  
And now you've made me angry_

Before Chris could notice it, he began to tap his foot along to the beat of the song. The song was slowly working it way in to Chris' subconscious.

_I can't decide  
Whether you should live or die  
Oh, you'll probably go to heaven  
Please don't hang your head and cry  
No wonder why  
My heart feels dead inside  
It's cold and hard and petrified  
Lock the doors and close the blinds  
We're going for a ride_

Chris had finally noticed that he was enjoying the song. "What the hell am I doing? I shouldn't be enjoying this crap music."

_Oh I could throw you in the lake  
Or feed you poisoned birthday cake  
I won't deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone  
Oh I could bury you alive  
But you might crawl out with a knife  
And kill me when I'm sleeping  
That's why_

"What is with this band? How the hell can you write a song about killing someone and make it up beat? That is just not right. The song has to be dark. It cannot be upbeat and happy. It makes the song just so twisted when they sing it this way."

_I can't decide  
Whether you should live or die  
Oh, you'll probably go to heaven  
Please don't hang your head and cry  
No wonder why  
My heart feels dead inside  
It's cold and hard and petrified  
Lock the doors and close the blinds  
We're going for a ride_

After the song ended, Chris did have to admit that he enjoyed the song. It was unlike what he normally listened to but it had drawn him in. After about a half an hour Chris pulled up in front of an average looking apart. "No way Toby lives here." Chris pulled Beecher's license out of his pocket to check. He read over the piece of plastic and looked at the street signs. "Yep, this is the right address. Kind of shabby for a Beecher but I am sure you like it that way." Chris got out of the car and walked over to the passenger side. "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty." Getting no response, Keller shook him. "Come on. Toby, it is time to wake up."

"Five more minutes, Mom."

"I'm not your mother, Toby. Now get up." Chris got frustrated when Toby failed to respond. "Fuck, it looks like I am going to have to do this the hard way." Keller pulled Beecher out of the seat and placed him over his shoulder. "Damn, you're a heavy little bugger, aren't you?" Keller said while lifting Beecher up. He walked over to the door and looked for Beecher's buzzer. "Ah, there you are, T. Beecher, 2A. Thank you, sweet Jesus. If you lived any higher, you would be sleeping in the stairwell tonight." Chris unlocked the front door and began the climb up to the second floor. After a short ascent Chris made it to the top of the stairs. After a quick look around he spotted Toby apartment. While Chris was unlocking it, he got this strange feeling that he was being watched. He turned around and noticed one of Toby's neighbors looking at him from the door on the other side of the hall. "Like you haven't seen a drunk person before," Keller said while giving the guy a nasty look. The man quickly retreated back into the safety of his apartment and closed the door. "Fucking annoying prick." Chris turned back around to head into the apartment. While turning around he managed to hit the doorframe with Toby's head. "Shit, I have got to be more careful. I might cause more damage to him than the drinking did. Now if I was a bed room, where would I be?" Chris opened up a door. "Nope, that is the bathroom." The next door he opened was Toby's bedroom.

Chris gently laid Toby on the bed and began to look for what looked like pajamas. After opening a few drawers, Chris found them. He let out a little chuckle as he looked at them. "Why am I not surprised that you have plaid pajama pants?" Chris grabbed a blue pair of pants and a shirt. He quickly stripped Toby of the foul-smelling clothes and put him in his pajamas. He took the puke-stained shirt and pants and threw them in a pile of what appeared to be dirty clothes. He pulled the covers back and put Toby under them. "Sleep tight, Beech," Chris said while leaving the room. He walked back to the living room and plopped down on the couch. He closed his eyes and said, "I hope he remembers me in the morning, because it can be kind of odd to wake up and see a stranger on your couch," before he fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Beecher awoke in a daze. The alcohol was gone from his system but it left a nice parting gift, confusion. "Wow, I have not drank that much since college. How the hell did I get home? How the fuck did I get dressed for bed?" Beecher had gotten use to waking up in strange place smelling like week-old ass after his nights out, but finding himself in bed not covered in dry vomit was a shock to the system. "Maybe I was not as drunk as I thought." He got out of bed and noticed an acrid smell coming from the corner of his room. Upon an investigation, he soon found the cause of the rancid aroma, the clothes from last night. Something was different about the smell this time. Something was missing. He picked up his shirt and took a big whiff, trying to place what was missing from the smell. Out of nowhere it hit him. There was not any vomit on the clothes "Damn, this is a first. I must have not been that drunk. I guess Dr. Miller was right you do calm down with age." He laughed, thinking about the stories his U.S. Constitution professor had told him while he was still in school. Toby decided to do some laundry to get rid of the alcohol/sweat smell. He never knew when his parents might show up for a surprise visit and he was in no mood for one of his father's lectures. He dropped the dirty clothes in the washer and poured in the detergent. When he pulled the knob to start the load, his stomach let out a loud low growl. "Jesus, I'm hungry. I guess a man cannot live on cereal alone. I must remember to send Miller a thank-you note for all the free advice." On his way to the kitchen, the stranger on his couch startled Toby. "Who the hell? Is that the Chris guy from yesterday? What the hell is he doing on my couch? HEY!" Chris jumped to a sitting position when he heard the yell. "What the hell are you doing in my apartment?"

It took Chris a few seconds to realize the angry voice was talking to him. All he could manage to say in response was a groggy "Huh?"

Toby grew annoyed because that was not the answer he was looking for. "I said what the hell are you doing in my apartment?"

Hearing the question for the first time, a large grin began to spread across Chris' face. "I take it you don't remember last night then?"

The large smile on Chris' face made Toby uneasy, causing his eyes to grow large for a second. He tried to hide the discomfort but he was pretty sure Chris had seen it. "What the hell do you mean?"

"You know, you sure do cuss a lot for a Harvard grad."

"Will you stop with the fucking jokes and answer my damn question?"

Keller wanted to continue playing with Toby but decided to stop it. It was not smart to screw with someone when you barely knew them and they could not remember why you were in their house. "You got drunk at the Cat Scratch Club and I took you home."

Toby let out a sigh of relief. "Thank god that is it."

"What is that supposed to mean, Toby?"

"I thought you meant we had sex. I am just relieved that you drove me home."

An idea popped into Chris' head. He thought this would be a great chance to screw with Toby some more. He pretended like he was offended by what Beecher said. "What are you trying to say? I am not attractive enough for you to sleep with me?"

"No, it is not that. It is just…"

"Are you trying to say that I am not good enough for you? I am attractive enough to sleep with, but just not good enough for lawyer boy, huh?

"No, I am not saying you are not good enough. It… It is… It is just… GOD!"

Keller could no longer contain his laughter. "Relax, Beecher. I am just fucking with you."

Beecher tried to look pissed off but was glad that Chris had been joking with him. "You know you are not funny at all. You could have just put me in a taxi."

"Then you would have woken up outside your apartment without your wallet."

"I was that bad last night?"

"Do you remember any thing from last night?"

"Not really," Beecher said, running his fingers through his short hair. When his fingers hit the bumps on each side of head he got a little nervous. "What the hell are these?"

"Shit. I was hoping there wouldn't be a mark."

"What?" Toby's eyes looked like they were about to bulge out of his head. "What the hell did you do to me last night?"

"I didn't do a damn thing to you?"

"Then how the fuck did I get two fucking lumps on the side of my head?" Toby took a minute to calm himself down. "Why don't you tell me what happened last night." With that, Chris began to recite the events of last night leading up to him falling asleep on the couch. He left out the part about Beecher playing in his puke. He figured Toby would be embarrassed enough without having that part of the story told to him. "Jesus, I am surprised that I did not puke all over myself, hearing how drunk I was." Keller tried to suppress the "that's what you think" look that he knew was on his face, but he was too slow; Toby had noticed the look before Keller could hide it. His face grew a bright red as he talked. "When did I do that?"

"Not long after I got you out of the club. Do you have a habit of playing in your puke?"

"You have to be kidding me. I cannot believe that I did that."

"I wish I was because that was nasty. It almost made me upchuck."

"Thanks for trying to spare me humiliation. Well, since you are here, would you like some breakfast?"

With the mention of food, Keller remembered how long it had been since he last ate and how hungry he was. "Sure, I never turn down free food."

"What do you want?" Beecher called out from the kitchen.

"Whatever you feel like making is fine with me. I'm not a picky eater." With that said, Keller got off the couch and started to look around the living room. He soon found something that caught his eye. It was Beecher's CD collection. He started to look through the numerous cases. After a few minutes of browsing, Keller had finally finished. He found that Beecher had quite an interesting taste in music. He seemed to be quite fond of female artists, Chris had noticed because of all the Tori Amos, Fiona Apple, Bif Naked, Evanescence, K.T. Tunstall, Tracy Chapman, and Hole CDs that Toby had. "You seem to have quite a unique taste in music Toby."

"Why do you say that?"

Chris looked at Toby's CDs again and pulled out a few oddities "Just from what I have seen. You have Panic! at the Disco, Tracy Chapman, The Dresden Dolls, Evanescence, and lets not forget that band you had in the car. That was just fucking weird music."

"Who do I have in the car?"

"Why are you asking me? I have never head that song before. All I can remember was them talking about feeding something some poisoned cake or something along those lines."

Toby thought about it for a few seconds to figure out who it could be. "Oh, that is Scissor Sisters. What is wrong with them?"

"Nothing if you are in to that kind of music. I was just saying that they were kind of strange. You mind if I take a look around your place?"

"Help yourself but there is not anything special about it. It is your typical apartment."

Without a word Chris turned around and started to look through the rest of the house. He decided to start with the restroom since he knew where that was and because he needed to piss. He was impressed by the size of Toby's bathroom. After looking around the room he remembered why he was here. After a quick piss Chris continued his expedition . he skipped over the bedroom since he got a nice view of it last night. When he came to the end of the hall, he found the only room that he had not seen before. Deciding to go in, Chris turned the knob and pushed open the door. "No mother fuckin way!" his jaw dropped open as he saw the black grand piano staring back at him. He quickly turned around and headed towards the living room. He flipped through Beecher's CDs looking for the one he wanted. "There you are." He jogged back towards the piano and placed the CD in the player that was sitting on top of the piano and pressed play. He skipped the first few songs until he found the one he wanted. Normally he would warm up before he would play any piece but he decided to pass this time. It had been years since Chris had a chance to play and he was not going to waste a second now that he could. He started the song and began to play along. His fingers matching perfectly with the grief-stricken piano on the CD.

_I've been looking in the mirror for so long._

_That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side._

_Oh the little pieces falling, shatter._

_Shards of me,_

_Too sharp to put back together._

_Too small to matter,_

_But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces._

From the kitchen, Toby could hear singing and a piano playing. "Hey, Chris, could you turn the radio down some? It is kind of distracting." He waited a couple of seconds but there was no change. "Come one, man, just a little." Still nothing. Toby moved the eggs from the stove then washed his hands. "Fine, I will turn off the…" he looked around the living room, but Chris and the music were not there. He turned and started down the hall. With each step, he took the music kept getting louder. He pushed open the door to his spare room and found Chris sitting in front of the piano playing with the CD player.

_If I try to touch her,_

_And I bleed,_

_I bleed,_

_And I breathe,_

_I breathe no more._

Chris had been oblivious to Beecher's calls. Instead, he had become a captive to the music. He had been sucked deep into another world where the only thing that existed was the piano and the music. He closed his eyes while he played, allowing the music to wash over him, his hands remembering every note. Chris was pulled so far into the music that he failed to notice the door behind him swing open and the blonde with the perplexed look on his face staring at him.

_Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well._

_Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child._

_Lie to me,_

_Convince me that I've been sick forever._

_And all of this,_

_Will make sense when I get better._

Toby was in awe of the man sitting in front of him. He would have never thought that Christopher Keller knew how to play the piano nor could play it so well. He just stood there watching, not wanting to make a sound in case it would cause Chris to stop playing. He was entranced by the contradiction he saw sitting before him. This big strong man seemed so fragile while he played this song.

_I know the difference,_

_Between myself and my reflection._

_I just can't help but to wonder,_

_Which of us do you love._

The music was intoxicating Chris the longer he played along with the song. Each note tearing at his soul. Pieces of him ripping to shreds as the voices cries out in anguish. The words meanings amplified be the grief of the piano and the haunting vocals. A tear forming as the secret meaning of the song pulled at Chris' heart, stirring up emotions that have been buried for so long.

_So I bleed,_

_I bleed,_

_And I breathe,_

_I breathe now..._

All of Toby's worries had started to slowly fade away as the music worked its way in to his soul, calming him. The piano brought a sense of peace to Toby. A smile began to spread across his face for no particular reason. The constant fighting with his father and all of his self-destructive behavior had taken their toll on him. But for the first time in a long while, Toby felt good about himself. All of his self-hatred and doubt seemed to have left him for the time being.

_Bleed,_

_I bleed,_

_And I breathe,_

_I breathe,_

_I breathe-_

_I breathe no more._

Chris poured the last of his strength into the closing notes, enjoying the drained feeling that he had not felt in years. A silence had fallen over the room. Toby was trying to formulate a complete thought to express his amazement. His mastery of the English language seemed to be of no help for the time being. "That was really good, Chris." Toby's voice caused Chris to jump a little. "Sorry, I did not mean to scare you."

"It's ok. I didn't know you were in here. How long have you been standing there?"

"For the most of the time. I heard you playing in the kitchen. I thought you were in the living room so I went to turn down the radio when you did not answer me but I was surprised to not find you in there. Then I just followed the music and found you here."

"When I was looking through your apartment I found the piano and I had to play it. I hope you don't mind."

"I could care less. I hate to play the damn thing and I never play it."

"Why do you have a piano in you apartment if you hate it?"

"It was a house warming gift from my father. He thinks that you cannot call a place a home without a piano. Weird, I know, but he was brought up with a piano in his house. He learned how to play when he was growing up and he thinks that everyone should play, that some how it enriches your life. My brother and I were forced to take lessons for years."

"Oh, I see. Do you still play?"

"As little as I can. My dad will not shut the fuck up when he comes over unless I play something. I would have gotten rid of this bitch if they did not come over. How did you learn to play? Did your parents make you take lessons too?

Keller's eyes darkened as his mind flashed back to his childhood. "No, I taught myself."

Toby could feel the atmosphere dim and noticed the change in Chris' demeanor when he mentioned his parents. "I am sorry, man, I did not mean…" Chris talking cut off Toby. He spoke in a monotone that seemed distant, almost like he was reciting a speech that he had no feeling for or like he was reading a menu.

"When I was growing up my mother use to drink every day and she use to beat me all the time. It got so bad once that she knocked me out for an entire day. That time she broke my left arm, three ribs, and cracked my skull. She took me to the hospital when I was passed and said that I fell down a flight of stairs. I had to stay in the hospital for a week by myself. She didn't even show up to pick me up when discharged from the hospital. I wasn't surprised when I had to walk home. She was probably passed out drunk in the living room. From then on I spent as little time as I could at home. I would look for any and every excuse to stay away from home. Normally, I would go to school early and stay until they kicked me out. When I was walking around the school I went backstage to avoid being caught by one of the teachers who were still there. That is where they kept the old piano they used for shows and for what ever else they needed it for. From then on, I would spend hours playing with the piano. I never learned how to read music, I just memorized each note. It took me a while to get it down but once I did I could play most songs. Playing the piano became like an escape for me. Whenever I became sad or upset I would just pour it in to the piano and I would feel so much better afterwards. It was nice just hearing the music and knowing that I was the one who was responsible for creating it. I was proving my mother wrong, I wasn't worthless or a failure when I was playing."

Both men just looked at each other when Chris finished his story, neither one wanting to talk. The look on Keller's face was demonstrating the pain of his childhood for the first time in years. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, the pain was not going away. Chris used to go to a shrink to try and make the things better but it never worked. The doctor had told him that he would get better if he talked with her about his childhood, but she was a fucking liar. It did no get better, it got worse. Opening up the old wounds only caused him more pain. Reliving the torment of his youth was a failure. He was still just as fucked up as when he came to the shrink, now he was depressed as well. He began to rub the scar on his arm, the souvenir he had from his therapy. After stopping the therapy, Chris was left with refreshed memories and no way to stop the painful flashbacks. He tried to drown them in alcohol but that just reminded him of his mother. He tried to keep busy so he would not think, tried talking with his few friends, tried sleeping with anyone that crossed his path, but none of it worked. He still felt horrible about himself.

Toby had been studying Chris while he was lost in thought. He noticed that Chris had begun to rub his arm. Looking closer he noticed a mark on his arm. There was this small line running up Keller's forearm. Toby reached out and softly grabbed Chris' wrist. He slid the sleeve of his thermal shirt up and ran his fingers up the mark. The touch brought Chris out of his daydream and back to reality. The fingers on his wound sparked conflicting emotions to life in Chris. The warmth of Toby's touch sent shiver down his spine, but the embarassment of having carelessly revealed the reminder of that dark day three years ago. Chris' initial thought was to pull his arm away from Toby but the look of concern and the soft touch changed his mind.

"What is this from?" Beecher asked, looking into his eyes, still softly stroking the mark.

"It is a reminder of a time I tried to end my life three years ago."

"Oh my God, Chris, I'm so sorry." He let go of his arm and looked down. "I didn't mean to… I'm sorry."

Chris felt a sadness come over him when Toby took his hand away. He wanted to pick up Toby's arm and put it back but decided against it. "It's ok, Tobe. It isn't that big of a deal, honestly."

"Do you feel like talking about it?"

Normally Chris would tell someone to fuck off if they asked. Why should he tell them something so personal? They did not give a shit about him no matter how hard they tried to fake it. But this was different. Toby was different. He seemed so sincere, like he actually cared for some reason that Chris could not figure out. "Basically, I started to see a shrink a few years ago. I was having problems in my life so I thought I should get some help. Actually, this chick I was seeing at the time thought I should. So to shut her up, I went and it was a huge fucking mistake. Instead of getting better, she just opened up old memories, memories that I had repressed. So instead of staying there and listening to anymore of this bullshit of how it was helpful, I took things in to my own hands. I self medicated with lots of sex and alcohol. Well, one day I was alone in my old apartment with no one to talk to or any thing to drink, so I spent the whole day wallowing around in my self-loathing until I couldn't take it any more. I filled up the tub with some warm water grabbed a knife from the kitchen and got in to the tub. I set there for a few minutes just staring at the knife, debating on if I would do it. Finally I just took a deep breath and slid the cold steel down my arm. I watched as the water began to change colors as the blood drained from my body. A little after the water started to grow a dark shade of red I lost consciousness. I guess my roommate came home not to long after I passed out because I woke up in a hospital. I was so pissed off that I tried to rip out the stitches so I could finish the job I started. As soon I started that a nurse stabbed me with a needle and I went back to sleep. The next time I woke up my arms had been placed in restraints so that I couldn't try it again." Chris' body began to quiver as he tried to repress the emotions that were building up inside of him. A tear rolled down his cheek as he began to lose control. He closed his eyes trying to keep the rest of the tears from forming. He felt a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders and pull him over to a body that was now sitting next to him. He lowered his head and placed it on the shoulder allowing the tears to come full force. A hand began to stroke the back of his head tenderly as he wept.

"It is ok, Chris. It is all going to be ok. I promise it will be." Toby continued to comfort the broken man sitting next to him until he regained his composure. "There you go. Are you feeling any better after getting that out?"

Chris shook his head and tried to talk. His voice was dry and cracking. "I'm sorry about all this, Tobe."

"Don't be, Chris. You needed to get that out of you. Keeping things like that in you is not healthy and you know that," he said while rubbing the scar on Chris' arm again. "If you still feel like eating breakfast it is ready." Both men got up from the piano bench and walked towards the kitchen.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Renting Out Oz 8  
By: Me  
E-Mail:   
Rating: PG  
Focus: Beecher and Keller   
Summary: AU set in the musical world that is _Rent _NYC  
Disclaimer: You know what goes here. Song is Return to Oz by Scissor Sisters  
Note: there is a note about the song choice at the end of the fic. Also if you notice any spelling/grammar mistakes please point them out. This was only beta by me so that is like saying it is unbetaed.

After a short but awkward break both men made their way to the living room. Toby opted for the leather love seat while Chris took a seat on the floor. "You do not have to sit on the floor."

"I'm fine. I cannot get to use to the comfy furniture. All my shit hurts like hell."

"Shut the hell up and get your ass off the ground. You might damage my floor with your bony ass."

Chris flashed Toby an eat shit and live look and slowly got up. "My ass in not bony. You would know that if you weren't so drunk last night."

"What the hell does that mean?" Chris moved over to the navy blue beanbag and flopped down. "Hey you break it you buy me a new one."

"Gotcha but you might have to put me on payment plan.

"You still did not answer my question."

Chris could not help but laugh at the look of confusion that was on Beecher's face. "You look so cute when you are confused."

Toby's face turned red with a mix of embarrassment and discomfort. "Um thanks I guess… You mind answering the question now?"

"Well after I saw you playing in pile a of your own vomit. I tried to get you off the floor but you could barely stand up . I hoisted you over my shoulder so I could go look for your car. And for some reason you kept poking my ass saying 'bouncy' after each poke."

Beecher hid his bright red face behind his hands. "Dear god. Thanks for telling me that."

"No problem." Chris smiled. "I was pretty sure you had forgotten and I knew it would embarrass the hell out of you. So I couldn't resist it. I hate to be rude but do you mind if I eat? I am kind of hungry."

"Oh shit. Yeah I kind of forgot about that. Come on I am hungry too. I guess puking up last nights dinner can have that effect on a guy."

"Ah man can you not mention that before we eat."

"Your little punk ass brought it up."

"Hold on a second. You had Cheerios for diner? What are you five?"

"No. Scientists say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and I never have enough time to eat when I wake up. That is what I tell people but really it is just quick and easy."

"Oh I see. You're lazy." Both men helped themselves to a generous portion of scrambled eggs and bacon.

"You want some toast?"

"If you have butter yeah."

"I think I do. It is wheat bread do you mind?"

"Nah that's fine."

Toby toasted the bread and sat it on the table for them to eat. Both men quickly filled their mouths with forks full of food. After several minutes the food was gone and both men just looked at each other. Wanting to break the silence Chris spoke up. "Thanks for the food."

"No problem. Now give me your plate." Beecher got up and grabbed the plates from the table. He walked over to the sink and placed the dishes in it. He quickly washed the dished and left them to dry. Toby walked pass Chris and out of the kitchen to the living room. He stretched out on the love seat and waited for Chris to join him. 

"Hey feet of the furniture. Didn't you parents teach you better?"

"Yes they did but this is my furniture so they can eat me."

"Was that a little resentment I heard in your voice?"

"Just a little bit. Do not get me wrong I love them both I just wish they would stay out of my life. More so my father then mom. I think she has finally come to terms with me. She realizes that this is not a phase I am going through that I am just going to be the black sheep if the Beecher clan. My dad is a different story. He still thinks that I am rebelling against society and one day I will settle down. I think he is too scared to admit that he is disappointed in me. He loved to sit me and tell about his time at Harvard and how proud it made him to know that he was following in the family tradition. He always compared me to him at that age. I was in the top ten of my graduating class he was valedictorian. I got my BA in three years he got his in two. No matter what I did it was never good enough. I would have loved to hear 'Good job Toby I am proud of you,' from him." Toby paused and sighed softly "It was during my freshman year that I just had just had enough. I do not know what happened but something in me snapped and I was tired of living up to the Beecher legacy. I still was going to be a lawyer because hell I love arguing and finding loopholes that has always been the shit. But I decided fuck the family firm. I was going to do what I wanted for a change. I started to have some fun with me life for a change. I was done living in the shadow of my father. When I told him that I had changed my mind he looked crushed. I really do not think he has ever forgiven me for letting him down but hell they still have Angus. So they can shape him in to the son I was supposed to be."

Chris waited a few seconds to make sure Toby had finished before speaking. "That kind of sucks."

"Yeah just a little."

"Ya know I had you pegged all wrong."

"Most people do. As soon as they hear Beecher they assume I am some spoiled, self-righteous, prick who has been handed every thing in life. That is why I normally avoid telling people my real name."

"I could see how that would be a pain in the ass. All those looks you would get and the people whispering about you whenever they think you cannot hear them. I hate those people. Fucking two faced bastards."

"It really does not bother me much any more. I normally keep to myself as you saw in the diner."

"So you normally listen to music when you go out?"

"Normally I do not leave my apartment that often, but when I do yeah I normally am listening to something. It is a great way to block out the real world. You should give it a try it sometimes."

"I do it sometimes but I enjoy the world most time, but then again I rarely do not go out that often. Normally I am sleeping or working. I really do not have that much of a social life honestly."

"Really? I would have thought of you as a clubber. I could see you cruising the streets on your bike looking for a hot piece of ass to take home and have a good time with. But I could see working at a club would take the fun out of it."

Keller looked perplexed. "How did you know I had a bike?"

"I did not really I just made a few connections then guessed. I saw your jacket plus the fact you are still here when I woke up made me think. You drove me home but you did not take your vehicle. So that means you do not have one or it is not very useful to take a drunken passenger home. The fact that you said you did not live close to work implies that you had to ride something. Buses do not run to the Cat Scratch Club and there is no way you are taking a taxi twice a night so you have to have something to drive. Your jacket could be just for a fashion statement but after talking with you I highly doubt that is you. Plus looking at it the jacket look kind of weathered. Adding the two together it was a safe bet you drove some type of bike.

"Damn man do you ever turn of the lawyer or is the normal for you?"

"I am still trying to master that. Right now I only have two modes. Lawyer and drunk. Normally the first one causes the latter to come out."

"What does that mean?"

"I kind of suck at stress management. I tend to let it build up until it is just too much for me. You got to see that last night. Normally it is not that bad but it has been a stressful month. Normally I just have enough drinks to get me felling happy again then stop. But this time my father just would not shut the hell up. So I kept downing martinis until he did."

"Hmm… I think I follow I've seen a few people who like to drink their troubles away. Normally the drink something a little stronger than martinis. It really isn't a drown your sorrows kind of drink." 

"What can I say? I have a soft spot for olives. There is no way I could pass up a drink that comes with them."

"Fair enough."

"So when do you need me to take you home?" 

"I'm in no hurry to get back unless you want me out of here as soon as possible."

"No rush I just did not want you to be late for work or whatever the hell you have to do. But you can hang around for a while if you want. It would be kind of nice having company that I did not fight with for a change."

"Same here except for the fighting. I normally do not have company over. The only time I socialize is at work."

"I still cannot believe that you do not have any friends. I understand why I am alone most of the time but you are a nice guy not an asshole like me." 

"Trust me Beech I can be an ass just as well as the next guy. When you are a bartender you learn to fake a smile. It helps your wallet to pretend to give a shit about your customers. So you see I never form any relationships that are more than skin deep. They sit at the bar, order a drink, I make it, and then they pay and leave."

"Well damn that is kind of lame. At least with my job I can be an asshole. In fact being an jerk helps when you are a lawyer. If you are nice your ass will be handed to you and then you would lose your job. I am tired of talking about work let's change the subject. So where do you grow up?"

"I was actually born in Las Vegas. When I was five my mother decided to move us to New York. I guess she got tired of the desert. So we packed up all our crap and got on the next Greyhound. I think she was running from someone but I never found out whom. We ended up spending the first month living in a homeless shelter. Then she meet some loser who she ended up moving in with. He became my sort of stepfather. They had this weird codependent relationship. I tired to get her to leave him but she never listened to me so he kept beating her. That kept up until she died of an overdose when I was nine. So until I was seventeen I was a punching bad for the asshole. What about you?" Beecher just stared at Chris unable to form a complete thought. Shocked at Chris' private confession to him. "Toby you're freaking me out say something?"

"Wow I mean how come… how can you talk about your past like that?"

"Like what?" 

"Devoid of emotions. Like it happened to someone else." 

"Because it is just the past. Felling sad or angry about it will not change a damn thing."

"That is something I never could do."

"What? Let go of your past?"

"Yeah. I never really had anything major happen to me like you, unless you count breaking my arm when I was in the eight grade."

"How did you break your arm?"

"It really was not a break. The muscle just ripped off where it attached to my arm when I threw a football."

"Damn man that's fucked up."

"Not really they just put me in a sling and wrapped me up."

"Damn that would have been a pain in the ass but I don't see why you cannot let go of your past. Explain?"

"I was saying that nothing major had ever happened to me I was just alone the majority of the time. I never really cared or wanted to make friends you know. I was the awkward quiet kid who got beat up on the playground every day. When I was in fourth grade I finally made a friend or so I thought. We hung out for about a week then one day at school he pushed me in a puddle of mud. I found out later that someone had paid him to pretend to be my friend. Basically it has been the same since then just minus the fake friend. I have tried to forget the past but it never works. I have tried to figure out why no one liked me but I never have been able to. So I have just given up so to speak. I rarely leave my apartment and when I do I am always alone. Sorry to bother you with my poor pitiful Toby speech but you did ask." 

"Hey man don't feel bad about what you said. It is a lot of shit to carry around for twenty something years. Trust me I am not one of those people who would tell you to suck it up. I hate those fuckers. They think that because they solved their problems that everyone else should do the same thing. It took me a long fucking time to get comfortable with my past."

"Is it just me or did this conversation get kind of depressing?"

"Yeah it did so why don't we change the subject?"

"Sounds good to me. How's your singing roommates?"

"They are not my roommates they just live in the same building. They are still bitching about having to pay rent, the fucking hippies. You remember that dancer at the club Mimi? She is trying to get with the guy… Roger I think. They were singing on the fire escape not to long ago. I was happy when they got kicked out of their loft but they broke back in. So long story short it is hell."

"Damn that is a smart bunch. Now they are squatters. The law cannot do a damn thing to them."

"One of the lesbians is a lawyer so I am sure she helped them figure it out."

"Really? Why the hell would a lawyer hang out with a bunch of free loaders who do not want to live in the real world?"

"She is dating Mark's ex. What's her name… Maureen."

"Getting dumped sucks but getting dumped for a women that is fucked up. Poor guy."

"Don't feel bad for him. I'm sure he will find another girl or guy." 

"He's bi?"

"I have never heard him say it or caught him with a guy but I get the felling that he is a switch hitter."

"And what makes you an expert on spotting alternative life styles?"

"You know the saying takes one to know one?"  
"Oh so you are bi."

"If you cannot tell I do not like to label myself. It creates to many unnecessary boundaries. I'm this or I'm that is a waste of time to me. I just do what ever makes me feel good. I never got societies obsession with labels. Everything has to fit in to a nice neat little package." 

"I gotcha. I spend most of my day putting people in to those labels. 'She is a junkie' or 'He is a pimp'. It comes with the job. After a week as a public defender it becomes second nature. You see the same type of people every day just in different colors, shapes, sizes, and genders. It gets hard o turn it off sometimes. Lets get the hell out of here."

"Ok where are we going?"

"I do not know lets just drive. I am tired of being in here all the time. Plus my family might stop by and I really do not feel like making nice after last time with them."

"Fine but you are driving this time, your car is nice but it really is not my style. I was surprised I remembered how to drive a car it has been so long. Now give me a bike and I could ride it in my sleep."

"I agree. I really do not want to fuck up my car. I live to far away from work and a decent bar and there is no way I am taking public transportation." Beecher noticed the glare that Chris was giving him. "What?"

"You just did not basically tell me you have driven home after a night out?"

"It has only happened like twice and I was not that drunk."

"You dumb ass, you could have killed someone or yourself."

"You done? Can we go out now?"

Keller paused letting his anger settle. "Fine but if I ever hear about you doing something that stupid again I swear I will kick your ass. Got it?"

"Yeah mom. Now shut up and get your coat." Both men head towards the door with Beecher leading the way. He locked the door and headed towards the outside world. "Where did you leave the car?"

"I parked it on the street not far from here. Put your eyes back in your head. I locked the doors your car is safe."

"It better be or I will have your ass."

A devilish smile crept across Chris' face as he whispered. "I hope"

"What?" 

"Nothing I was just thinking out loud." Both men walked in silence until they reached the car. "See I told you. You really need to relax or you are going to have a coronary before your are thirty."

"No problem with me like Percy Shelly said. 'Only the good die young.' Now get in the car or I am leaving you here." Beecher flopped down in to the drivers seat, leaned over and unlocked the passenger door.

"So where are we going?" 

_Once there was a man __  
__Who had a little too much __  
__Time on his hands __  
__He never stopped to think __  
__That he was getting older _

There are a few places I am thinking about. I am sure you have been to most of them but you can deal for now."

"That really isn't a answer Beech."

Beecher chuckled softly when he saw the bemused look on Chris' face. "I know. It is fun being a pain in the ass."

_When his night came to an end __  
__He tried to grasp for his last friend __  
__And pretend __  
__That he could wish himself health __  
__On a four-leaf clover_

"If I tell you where we are going will you get that sour look off your face?"

"I do not have a sour look on my face?"

"What ever you say Chris. Since you shared something with personal with me I decided to do the same. I am taking you to the Empire State Building."

"Ok?"

"Yeah I know it is nothing special but to me it is. When I was growing up my parents took me to the top and I loved it. When I was fifteen I went back as night. I do not know what was so special about it but it made me feel better. I go there when ever I am stressed."

_He said, is this the return to Oz? __  
__The grass is dead __  
__The gold is brown __  
__And the sky has claws_

"Yeah I know I am a dork."

"No you're not. It is kind of cute that you do that. Have you ever been recognized by the people who work there?"

"A few times yeah."

_There's a wind-up man __  
__Walking round and round __  
__What once was Emerald City __  
__Is now a crystal town_

"You know Chris you are a pain in the ass to figure out. Just when I think I have figured you out you reveal another layer. It is a kind of annoying in a good way."

"You think so? I never thought I was that hard to figure out but I guess I should know myself best." 

_Three o' clock in the morning __  
__You get a phone call __  
__From the queen with a hundred heads __  
__She says that they're all dead_

"My opinion of you has changed a few times. You carry yourself as if you are the kind of the world challenging anyone to try and take the title from you. But when you think no one is watching you, you relax. Knowing about your past, it makes sense now. You have developed a shield, so to speak, that allows you to get through the day."

_She tried the last one on __  
__It couldn't speak, fell off __  
__And now she just wanders the halls __  
__Thinking nothing, thinking nothing at all __  
_  
"Damn Tobe you really need to get the hell out of your head once in a while. You miss a lot when you are thinking all the time. You can be fun to be around when you are not lost in thought."

_She says, is this the return to Oz? __  
__The grass is dead __  
__The gold is brown __  
__And the sky has claws_

Hey you have your façade you like to hide behind and I have my thoughts. So it works for me."

_There's a wind-up man __  
__Walking round and round __  
__What once was Emerald City __  
__Is now a crystal town __  
_  
"I wasn't attacking you Toby I was just trying to… SHIT!" Before Chris could finish his though a car slammed in to the passenger side of Toby's car. Causing an explosion of class to rain down on them and sending the car spinning across the road.

_The wheelies are cutting pavement __  
__And the Skeksis at the rave meant __  
__To hide Deep inside __  
__Their sunken faces __  
__And their wild, rolling eyes_

The car was brought to a sudden stop as it smashed in to a telephone pole on the sidewalk. Toby could hear his heart pounding in his ears. He felt a sharp pain in his leg and a warm sticky liquid slowly running down the side of his head. "Shit what the hell happened? You ok Chris? Chris?" Toby looked over and saw the big man slumped over with blood pouring from his head. "Chris!"

_But their callous words reveal __  
__That they can no longer feel __  
__Love or sex appeal __  
__The patchwork girl has come to cinch the deal_

Toby quickly got out of the car and limped over to the passenger side. The pain in his leg replaced by fear for the safety of Chris. He opened the door and slid the man out of the car. "Come on Chris wake up. You cannot do this to me."

_To return to Oz __  
__We've fled the world __  
__With smiles and clenching jaws __  
__Please help me, friend, from coming down __  
__I've lost my place and now it can't be found __  
__Is this the return to Oz?_

Toby clasped the phone that was tucked away in his pocket. He quickly flipped it open and dialed 911. After a short conversation he snapped the phone shut and waited for help to arrive.

_The grass is dead __  
__The gold is brown __  
__And the sky has claws __  
__There's a wind-up man __  
__Walking round and round __  
__What once was Emerald City __  
__Is now a crystal town __  
_  
Toby pulled off his shirt an placed it on Chris' head trying to slow the bleeding. Looking over his body Toby noticed that Chris' right arm was horribly out of place and he winced at the thought of the broken limb. When he looked up again a small crowd had gathered and was staring at Toby and the unconscious man. "What the fuck are you staring at? The sound of approaching sirens made Toby's heart skip a beat. "You hear that Chris? You are going to be ok. They are almost here." The crying guitar began to mix with the sound of the ambulance and Toby slowly began to fade out.


End file.
